Tonya Pinkins Blog

The Price of progress

This rant probably makes little sense out of context. But, I wrote it in response to a friend's loving warnings not to take on a nasty public fight with some folks who I allowed myself to become a victim of.

There was a quote on my igoogle page yesterday that said something like "Always and Never are two words one should always remember to Never use"

My Oprah quote about being "One of the ten women in America who will take your breath away," is a result of that early battle in NY. And now I'm doing it again in CA after telling myself "never again"

My "not doing it again" was based on the fact that, when I stood up against the NY judge and participated in having him removed from the bench, not a single other mother whom it would have helped, whom it did help, stood beside me. My comrades were older woman, long past motherhood

We succeeded and it cost me two years of seeing my kids. And I have no regrets. I am wiser now in that I know that if I bring these people down ,I cannot expect the assistance of the dozens of others she's defrauded. they are too afraid. I get most of my info from them but they would never stand up for themselves
So I do it for myself, because I don't want to live in a world where things are so bad that you just have to suffer in silence. I"D RATHER DIE FIGHTING

My therapists specialty is survivors IN war. He spent time in Bosnia and Kosovo during the war. He told me that those people survive by taking turns carrying the burden, But the leaders don't get to share the burden with anyone

Sister Morningstar believes she has died a martyr in every past life. And her mission this time is to do it differently. I tried that choice on for a while.

Its not my path

My biggest fault has been that in the fight I have shunned certain kinds of allies and rested when the pressure eased, which is exactly when I should have been doubling my efforts.

This time, I'm learning. I'm learning that when the other side fights dirty. You must use the same tactics for to assume being above that is to lose.

Sometime, you might want to read some Fox-Piven. I cant recall her first name. But she writes about how all the great "movements of the last century, abolition, suffrage, civil rights, had to break the rules and laws that were designed to keep them from having what they were fighting for.

Maija is a survivor. She is the better version of me.

Morningstar said all girls must become their mothers. And you want your daughter to say when the tough moment comes "Ah that's why mother..." rather than " I will never, because mother...."

I want my son and daughter to stand up and fight because mother did and no matter how difficult and no matter what the outcome she did it and to be able to appreciate that.

By: Tonya Pinkins On Monday, 22 June 2009 Comment

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